Signs of Spring in Chicago

  • The empty bottles on the sidewalk switch from fifths of cheap whiskey to Corona.
  • The potholes are full of water instead of snow.
  • Water taxis start running again.
  • Snowbird homeless dudes return.
  • Most of the snow melts.
  • Your landlord turns off your heat, despite night temperatures below freezing.
  • Road construction begins.
  • Marked increase in litter.
  • Corner boys return to their posts.
  • Elotes/fruit/paletas stands return.
  • Time to bring Emergency Pants to work for when you get splashed by a bus.
  • You can smell the river stink again.
  • You can feel and hear the bass from the low-rider going by.
  • You take the plastic off your windows, only to regret doing so within a week.
  • Your detached irritation turns into boiling rage as the rest of the world gets real spring.