Fantasy Island

For illustration purposes only--not a fantasy island, but a real penninsula

For illustration purposes only–not a fantasy island, but a real penninsula

If you’re feeling a little stressed out (as I have been lately), you may find yourself daydreaming about a relaxing getaway. I’m partial to Mexico; others prefer Hawaii or the Virgin Islands. But there’s really no way to beat a private fantasy island.

There are no shortage of ways to find and buy private islands online. Buying weird things is one of the prime uses of the Internet. This guide from How Stuff Works answers all your basic questions about the process, and to find an agent or a seller, just google “buying private island” and scroll down to your heart’s content.

Trying to make this fantasy a reality isn’t the point of this post, though. Making this fantasy more fantastic is my goal today.

Things a Truly Great Fantasy Island Must Have

(We’re skipping over all the obvious white-sand beaches, turquoise waters, and gentle breezes.)

  • A gigantic hammock that comfortably fits two people without having them squish each other and also has a built-in pillow so your neck doesn’t get a crick if you want to lay in it and read.
  • Its own signature cocktail that manages to be fruity and refreshing without being sticky sweet and that you can drink all day without ever getting more than pleasantly tipsy, with no ill effects the next day. Must include ginger.
  • A magical jet ski that you can ride all around the island without ever having to worry about crashing and drowning.
  • A butler–scratch that, a ROBOT butler.
  • Everlasting pig roast.
  • Tame giant tortoises to be your friends.
  • The giant tortoises should also play cards and pool, but not quite as well as you do.

What do you want on your island?


One thought on “Fantasy Island

  1. My backyard has a 2-person hammock, but the atmosphere of dog poo and the neighbors’ air conditioning noise is not quite as relaxing as robot butlers and gentle breezes.

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